Tuesday, December 27, 2011

We all have trap doors.

Dr. Claire McCarthy writes an eloquent blog about her life as a primary care physician and parent. This post about trap doors hits the mark for me and I am certain many others.

Trap doors, illusions, memories, recollections, secrets, things we will never understand.

She writes about the hidden triggers that lie in wait for us when personal losses are tied to events, holidays and memories.  This year my mother died at 2:30am on the day after Thanksgiving. I was alone with her here at home.  We had hoped to have a Thanksgiving dinner that included her this year, as we knew it would be her last, and my grandmother who was in a nursing home ten miles away at that time.  But my Mom took a sharp turn for the worse early Thanksgiving morning and had to be on IV morphine that day.  She was really beyond even being lifted into a wheelchair even before that.

So what do you do with the memories of those last days?  There are hurtful memories, a few good ones and many questions that must be categorized and left behind.

One answer:  Keep reading about other peoples experience with loss and grief (see Dr. Claire's post above) and keep writing about mine.

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